Sunday, June 15, 2014


Dear readers, I present to you:  Sir Gregory and his eloquent copy/paste email:

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> >> >BLESSINGSwow! 
> >> >>Well it seems we have much in common. I long for a deeply spiritual woman. It seems as if you share the same passion for our Lord.Could you see herself (ISSUES WITH PRONOUNS MUCH) worshipping praying with your husband? I know you could (CHANNELING MR. ROGERS, I KNOW YOU COULD)
> >> >I long for a gal to pray and read the bible with. I know God has someone like that for both of us. My guess is you have a sweet and gentle nature like myself. You seem very intelligent and Im honored and hope you find me worthy enough to get to know. (HOW DO YOU PRESUME TO KNOW THAT I HAVE A SWEET AND GENTLE NATURE LIKE YOU?  AND HOW WOULD I SEEM INTELLIGENT?  BECAUSE I CAN ACTUALLY PRESENT A COHERENT INTRODUCTION PAGE ON THE SITE) Perhaps I should tell you more about myself  (NOOOOOOOO!!)
> >> > 
> >> >Im active in sports. I still play hockey twice a week all year (APPARENTLY YOU'VE TAKEN A PUCK TO HEAD ONCE OR TWICE, IF THIS EMAIL IS ANY INDICATION). I love racquet ball sports and especially walking. I love nature and love to just sit and fish even if I don�t catch anything.Perhaps my biggest passion is music. I play a number of instruments and have been told Im a descent singer (BY "DESCENT" DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE SPIRALING DOWNWARD?). I've played in a number of bands � including secular and church worship teams. I love groups such as the Eagles , C C R, Lightfoot, Jazz, blues, folk music etc, pretty well love it all if its not too heavy- no screaming please- (DARN, WE'VE CONNECTED ON SO MANY LEVELS AND YOU'VE HAD TO RUIN IT WITH NO SCREAMING MUSIC..  i DECLARE US COMPLETELY NONCOMPATIBLE)lol.I've also had the privelage of acting and modeling ( pictures not runway ) (NO WORDS, JUST HAVE NO WORDS FOR THAT) but know not doing that as I Presently hav a couple music ministries that would b sooo cool if my wife joined me Every few weeks i play various instruments on our church worship team. i also lead a christian buisiness meeting in worship once a month. also planning trip to africa this winter to minister in song p t l (room for one more hehehe I hav a passion for crusades and meetings and to see people get saved and will b more involved with that over the next 10 - 20 years 
> >> >The church and christians and church are doing alot of good works buttttt but not really the great commission I want to help get souls saved the old fashioned way ( actually public meetings was Jesus most popular way of evangelizing I even want to help fund these meetings orrrr start/ fund my own crusade ministry I already hav greatttt international contacts ready to preach the gospel praise His name !!!! 
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> >> > also have a passion for dancing. Id love a Christian gal to dance with and usually go dancing twice a week!!! I'm willing to teach if u don�t know how. Id be happy even just to dance at home with my beloved 
> >> >My favorite passages seem to focus around The Psalms.I can relate to David as I seem to be a bit more expressive than most guys. p t l 
> >> >>I am very affectionate and probably my favorite activity is just to cuddle up with my beloved( even a chick flick if my gal is happy). Ive learned a lot about submitting to my beloveds needs � although not to her lead( according to John Haggee), Sorry that may not be overly popular but I am a very gentle leader. (OK AS SOON AS THIS MAN SAID "GENTLE LEADER" I HAD THE HORRIFIC VISION OF HIM IN BONDAGE WEAR, A BIBLE IN ONE HAND AND A WHIP IN THE OTHER...YOU'RE WELCOME FOR THE VISUAL)
> >> >I do furniture retail from my home which is very lucrative and being blessed immensely by God. I also do investments which the Lord has graciously chosen 2 bless. Enough so I will be semi retiring within the next year . I see myself and my beloved involved with volunteer church activities � including short term missions to help build the kingdom. Yahweh be Praised .Hm I love the idea of taking a motor home and traveling around North America. 
> >> >Hopefully this lets u into my world. Looking forward to getting to know you. 
> >> >>May God richly bless you 
> >> >And faith overcomes distance ) 
> >> >Praise the Lord 
> >> > (
> >> > warmly yours 

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> >> >P s I not 6 years old I just don�t type-lol. Actually I did this all with one finger � labor of love. . May God bless you . Prayed for you today 
> >> >P s s s ill assure u im a great friend and would love 2 pray with u- and perhaps read some scripture 
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> >> >P s. im looking for more of a traditional type gal and its not necessary for a lady 2 b the big independent type. Hm it seems theres a lot of pressure on women 2 b so independent. Im quite traitional / biblical and don�t mind being the 1 for a gal 2 lean on � 2 provide for, 2 protect, 2 nurture as instructed by scripture. I wonder if that�s y deep down so many women rnt really that happy, and hence, indirectly, guys 2. probably .the sweet respectful type would fit my personality as i am gentle and easy going . just looking for peace man lol(yup i know stuck in the sixties lol . Probably a gal who doesnt mind, and finds comfort, in following a good considerate man, would do well and r veryyyy pleased with me as i would her \   (TWO WORDS:  EWWW AND ICKY)
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> >> >Hm just food 4 thot. Hopefully u can c the kindness, gentleness, and love in my eyes, I really hav been graciously described as a gentle yet strong and comforting leader, my beloved will find rest and security in my arms 
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> >> >psssssssss, by the way you have a beautiful godly type smile (WHAT EXACTLY IS A "GODLY" TYPE SMILE??) . hopefully u can see the gentleness and kindnes in my eyes as well (NO, BUT I CAN SEE FREAKY DEAKY THERE) I give God the glory 
> >> >> >> > bless u precious one 
> >> >ive been pleased with great genetics and often told i look in the 38-42 range(DERANGED IS MORE LIKE IT AND YOU LOOK THAT AGE ONLY ON PLANET SIR GREGORY) not life or death but a minor blessing 
> >> >lol i was out dancing last night four hours straight. hope u can keep up hehehe(im sure u can ) (THROWING UP IN MY MOUTH AGAIN)

This my peeps, really took the cake.  Maybe it was the slew of pictures.  Now I give him credit for flying the freak flag, not everyone can.  At least you know what you're getting into with him right off the bat.  Is he genuine as opposed to a scammer?  I don't know.  His effusiveness would lend itself to me saying, con artist; however, he is very detailed in his horrid introduction.  All of that is more than what the scammers have on their profiles.

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