Sunday, August 22, 2010

Diary of a Mad Diabetic Woman

Dear Diary,

I've decided to blog about my diabetic journey and where is has/will lead me over the next several days, weeks, months, years.

I can say without hesitation that this has not been an enjoyable process. I was diagnosed 2002-2003 as a Type 2. Easily treatable with diet, exercise and some oral meds. No matter how easy you think it will be, it isn't. I spent a lot of time being in denial about it. No one wants to be a diabetic. A lot of people will spend too much of their time telling you what you should or shouldn't eat. I cannot tell you how many times I've heard, "Oh, can you eat that?" Grrrrr!

Yes, I can eat it. The question is "Should I?" The answer more often than not, is a resounding NO!

For the first year, I did really well. Watching what I ate, exercising, taking my meds. All to no avail. My HbA1C wasn't getting any better, so the doctor added more meds. I hate taking medication. Unfortunately, all of this made me rebel. I finally decided to see an endocrinologist after a year of working out and not having any success with losing weight or getting my readings back in line.

Well golly gee, it's the meds. The cure is as bad as the disease. One of the meds hindered weight loss, but the doctor wanted me to lose weight. That was the point I said, "Screw it!" And for the next 5 years, that's pretty much been my attitude.

The last few months have been hellish for me. Between the stress of work and life in general, I've not been very happy. In fact, I've been seriously depressed. As a woman of faith, I know that God will see me through all of this, but for a while there, I felt He had turned his back on me. That's not the case. I've been praying diligently for peace and comfort. I want my joy back. I want to feel alive instead of going through the motions.

Well, God answered my prayers about a month ago. My parents ordered a book called The Diabetic Dtour by Prevention Magazine. They were on the verge of returning it when I saw it on the coffee table. I asked if I could take it home. It sat here for 3 weeks before I picked it up.

This past Wednesday, August 18, 2010, was my new beginning. I started Day 1. Horrible day. I was so incredibly hungry. I knew it was a result of putting good foods into my body. 3 meals, 2 snacks and I was ready to gnaw my arm off. But I did not shy away. I am currently on Day 5. My energy is already better. I'm not so hungry anymore. My blood sugar readings are getting better. I've lost some weight, mostly water from eliminating the salty foods.

The program says you can lose up to 13 lbs within the first two weeks. I won't know what I've lost to date until I officially weigh in on Wednesday morning as I start Week 2 of the Quick Start.

The food, all my own, has been great! I've followed the plan 98% with a couple of deviations. I have lost the cravings I've had for junky foods. I'm enjoying the whole grains and fresh fruits. I've been taking lunch and cooking dinner every night. It not easy by any stretch, but I have to do this if I want to be around for another 40+ years.

So thanks be to God for answering prayers. I've eaten better in the last 5 days than I have in the last 5 months. I've already experienced an initial 75 point drop in my fasting readings. I know it will fluctuate, but I can't let it get me down when it is elevated. I have to keep my eye on keeping it steady and continuing to drop. As I have said to friends, something is better than nothing.

I have to remind myself that my body is a temple for the glory of God and I need to treat it that way.

Goodnight, Diary. I'll be back in a few days.