Saturday, August 23, 2008

Women Get on My Nerves

....we need to use our inside voices....

Don't get me wrong, I love being a woman. I can be girlie or a tomboy. I can dress to the nines and wear sexy high heels or I can shlump around in sweats. I can paint my toes, get false nails, flutter my eyelashes and cry on a dime.

Really, I love being woman and 99% of what being woman entails. But let me tell you something, after this weekend, women get on my nerves.

I attended the Women of Faith Conference. Imagine being in an arena with 18,000 other women listening to stories of faith, grace, forgiveness...humor, song, dance, tears, hugs, applause. We had it all this weekend. And friends, let me tell you, I am wiped out. Sitting for one and a half days in a stadium seat can be painful. I do believe my butt is numb. But I digress.

Let me say it again...women get on my nerves. My friends and I availed ourselves of the Trinity Railway Express to arrive at the American Airlines Center. Getting there was no issue. The return ride, now that was another matter.

Thursday night, I couldn't sleep, so I was up until 1:30 AM. We were catching the 8:46 train Friday morning, so I had to be at my friend's house at 8:20. From where I live, that means leaving at 7:45...I woke up at 6:00. That was 4.5 hours of sleep. Bad sign. I didn't eat breakfast or pack snacks. Bad sign. They did not have any Cinnabon cinnamon rolls ready...Bad sign. I didn't have my usual coffee. Really bad sign.

Obviously I'm having a rough start to the day. The pre-conference was great!! But now it's over and I am ready to be home. The event ended around 10:10. A mere 10 minutes late, but it was enough time to make me regret our unfortunate decision.

So, we get to the train, we find seats and then suddenly 1000s of women gang rush the train. All talking about the night's events, pumped up, loving Christ, feeling His infinite grace. Whooo!!! The back story to this is that we are on the special events train. They run one for events at the American Airlines Center. But on weekdays, there are also regular scheduled commuter trains.

There was a regularly scheduled that would arrive at 10:18. We were told the special events train would be pulling out at 10:10...a check of the watch showed it was 10:10, but we weren't moving. Here comes the 10:18, chugging to a halt beside us....then whoot! whoot! it whistles as it leaves....we gaze longlingly as we continue to sit on the special events train.

Let me share some wisdom garnered from this weekend. DO NOT RIDE ON A TRAINFUL OF WOMEN WHO HAVE NEVER RIDDEN THE TRAINS BEFORE!! First, they have no idea which trains are going east or west. Second, and women, hear me on this...we speak at a decible level that dogs can't hear.'s's late, I'm tired and cranky. I want to relax, run through the evening's events...but what do I get...I get to hear other conversations, other phone calls, other running commentary of the night. Shut up, I was just there.

And it is probably a very unChristian way to feel, but I was so completely annoyed at my gender. I don't speak at such a high decible. And when in public, I try to mind my manners and not share my conversations with other.

It was so painful to sit there for 30+ minutes listening to my fellow women shrieking.

Ladies, I have one sentence for will ultimately save you from me telling you to shut up....

Inside voices.

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