Friday, March 07, 2008

Never Laugh at The Royal Oracle of Snow

I love snowflakes. I adore snowmen. I am the royal oracle of snow, goo goo g'joob.

Last year, my staff discovered my penchant for snowthings. Accordingly, they decorated the window next to my office door with "peel 'n' stick" snowflakes. It was our way of heralding the advent of winter in Texas (all 24 hours of it) and decorating our otherwise plain vanilla office (you should have seen what we did at Christmas).

After the stuffing, turkey, and pumpkin pie had been consumed last Thanksgiving, I stuck the same snowflakes on the same window. I also decorated my office with my snowmen. I realize this has become somewhat of a ritual for me. It's all done with the hope for that elusive White Christmas. It's March 2008. I'm still waiting.

Nevertheless, I keep the s'flakes and s'men displayed all winter. This year, I decided to use some reverse psychology on the SnowyGoodnessGod. On Leap Day, I removed the snowflakes; commenting to the staff that I was doing it early hoping it would snow.

They laughed.

The darnedest thing happened. Three days later, we had our first snowfall of the winter. Dang, I'm good. I put away the fake flakes and received the real deal.

But wait, there's more.

I had not yet stored my "Let It Snow" men or my pudgy snowmen figurines. Hmmm, based on the previous weather activity as a result of removing snowlike items; I wondered if I could conjure more snow? I put the snowmen away; and told my staff based on the previous snowfall, I could only assume that by storing more snowmen, we could very well have a blizzard.

They laughed.

Yesterday, North Texas was the recipient of my royal oracle-like snowy prognostication. The lovely city of Denton received nine, yes, nine inches of snow. My fair homestead was graced with two inches, give or take a half-inch.

Again, let me say, I AM GOOD, real good. Next year, I'm going to store my ski jacket, gloves, and goggles.

I wonder what that will do?

1 comment:

Russet Shadows said...

Beware the misuse of your powers! The fabled ski jacket may cause white-outs citywide. Surely, the children of your dominion will thank you, but the adults may come burning your likeness in effigy, especially if their glorious SUVs should suffer harm. :)