Hi Lisa, Its Thomas - TeeGee Part 10

And so begins the texting conversation.  The scammers truly believe they have won your confidence and eternal love/devotion if you give them your cell number...of course, he was given an alias number.

Very first text:

T:  Hi Lisa, its Thomas.  I hope am on the right track? (NO, NO YOU AREN'T)

D:  Other than it's not Lisa  (REALLY MORON, IF YOU'RE GOING TO PLAY DON'T MESS IT UP)

THERE WAS A LONG PAUSE, YOU KNOW HE WAS GOING BACK TO HIS EMAIL FILE TO SEE WHO THE HECK HE WAS TALKING TO...I THINK MY EYES ROLLED BACK PERMANENTLY AT THIS POINT

T:  Ahhh lol..how's your health now?

D:  Fine (HELLO, ALL MEN SHOULD KNOW WHAT "FINE" MEANS WHEN A WOMAN USES IT AS AN ANSWER)

T:  Ah, I have been thinking about you all day and praying for your recovering and Amanda is not left out in this too lol.  I feel really delighted, I just sent you a message on your inbox telling you how greatful i'm so far in this  (YES YOU ARE SO FAR IN THIS...LIKE NECK DEEP IN POOP)

D:  You must have sent it to Lisa.  Nothing in my inbox.  (SNAP, 0 TO B!TCH IN 60 SECONDS)

T:  Lol I was just being playful here, Debbi. (YEAH YEAH, MOMENTARY LAPSE IN MEMORY FOR YOU)  I talk to no Lisa.  But it s fine now that am here with you talking to you.

D:  Ah, am surprised you re still home. How long do you get to stay?

T:  I stayed for 2 weeks this time but I will surely will be leaving this week now to work babe.  Is your instant messenger fixed up?

D:  I have skype

T:  Okay, just get me your skype name here now.  (DEMANDING MUCH?)

I'm so totally bored with the cretin, I'm not sure I can hang on for much longer...I have a hard time playing stupid and gushing about how wonderful I think he is.

I'm giving him mundane stuff and he's going on and on about how he enjoys every moment with me.

T:  I need to be at the airport morning so chopper needs to come first then straight to work.

D:  So you will fly in a helicopter from Newark to the Gulf of Mexico?

T:  Yes babe, is there any problem? (NO OTHER THAN YOU MUST THINK YOU HAVE ME ON A HOOK)

D:  Must have a lot of in-flight refueling

T:  lol yes we do always babe  (DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?)

The above convo was while I was at work.  He asks if I'm on skype.

D:  I'm at work so no

T:  Oh I almost forgot. (YOU JUST ASKED IF I WAS AT WORK!)  Am always carried away while am with you.  Please pardon me.  I don't think i will be able to send down your surprise before I leave tomorrow since I don't know where to sent this to.(BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT I WOULD GIVE YOU MY HOME ADDRESS??)  I have a plan on leaving to stay in a more better place.  After my retirement here from works, the contract I hoped for and more.  I wish to grow old loving someone right next to me, I don't want to grow old alone babe.  So I'm willing to commute and relocate if needs be for a future partner tomorrow.(WOULD YOU BE SO WILLING IF I DON'T OFFER YOU MONEY)  I so have a lot to offer and share heart to heart babe.

Mind you we have only exchanged emails for maybe 9 days...I get this drivel.  You know he's thinking he's working me.

T:  Hi babe, I know you must be asleep by now. (YES, IT WAS 12:45AM)  Since you came into my life, my life has been different and so perfect.(I SMELL MONEY) personality and your strong desire and love for kids.  I feel I have found the right one.  With no doubts, I know how slowly you wanna take this, but at anytime i wish to take this to a greater height.  I feel better you are getting stronger each day, may be am your strength, your other half.  Amanda prays for you always here, I think she loves you.  GOOD NIGHT MY LOVER, GOOD NIGHT MY FRIEND.

ROFLMBO...I hurt myself laughing at that last line.  Lover?  Really?  Is that supposed to illicit some emotional, physiological response in the heart of lonely women looking for the right one online??  These folks are seriously bad at what they do, but it must work because they keep on doing it and must have some success.

He just goes on and on with this crap.  Friday evening he sends "pictures" of him at work...uh yeah, that's it's I'm done.  I sent him an email busting him and his con.  Strangely enough, he must not have read his email because I received this text (never heard the messages beep):

Thomas Green's final text:  You are the first thing to enter my mind in the morning and the last thing to leave my heart at night.  I'm just here to talk to you before it gets busy today.  You will always remain in my thought.  Thinking about you.  Good Morning.

What I find particularly funny is how perfectly written this last text was. They must have a database of emails from a variety of people and cut/paste at will.  I will wrap up the Saga of Thomas Green with my email reply to his "pictures".  I just couldn't do it any more.

My Eyes Has Been Glued...TommyGee Part Niner Niner

Doctor, my eyes have seen the years....no, no they haven't because they has been glued!!

A brief hiatus of writing...I had a few days of socializing, saying hello to family and friends and merlot...I'm back to continue and end the drama....

When I last spoke of Thomas (the train), he was stumbling over himself apologizing that he was not around over the 4th weekend.  He email me and when he didn't get an instant reply, I got this:

Hi babe,

My eyes has been glued (MAKES IT DIFFICULT TO SEE) ,hoping on replying you for more than 2hours now but i never got a message from you (BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOT CAPTIVATED ME, YOU IDIOT). You keep me in a worried state of mind (MIND?  YOU HAVE ONE), i hope everything is fine and okay? Well i still think of you in my on great ways, Amanda extends her greetings with much love.

my regards

About this time, I started getting really really bored.  I told him I wasn't feeling well and going to bed.

Hi Sweetheart,

Good morning to you babe, how was your night ? I slept off last night . Am so sorry to hear about your situation babe,i feel so sad knowing you re sick right now (OH THE SYMPATHY CARD). Joy comes in the morning when you survive the night (WELL YEAH EINSTEIN, YOU AREN'T DEAD) ,every morning is like a rising sun for us all (AGAIN, EINSTEIN, THE SUN USUALLY COMES UP IN THE MORNING). I pray you get better on time, me and Amanda will never cease our prayers and well wishes for you . Your pain is mine (ALL YOUR HEMORRHOIDS ARE BELONG TO US, SEND US UP THE TUCKS ... this is from the old days of chat.  Mike will know this)   ,you re always at heart here. Please let me know when you can talk. I hope you don't mind now if i request for mobile contact or even messenger? (HE THINKS HE'S GETTING CLOSER TO ME...HAHAHA MY PLAN WORKS )Get well soon.

Thomas

We moved to texting with my Google voice number and that has been a riot.  The same drivel which I will recount tomorrow.

Like A Huge Part Taken Away From Us - Thomas Green Part 8, I think

Oh bother...

Here is TommyLove's reply to my absence for the holiday weekend:

Ah i almost forgot ,its indeed a great day and time for the nation (OH PLEASE, YOU HAD TO GO LOOK UP US HOLIDAYS IN JULY). My daughter's name is Amanda. And am sure she will love the pictures you wishes to send to her. It shows real love as a friend and a mother (NO IT DOESN'T BUT IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD TO THINK THAT, GO FOR IT) . I really appreciate . Once for the day, we both miss each other here like a huge part taken away from us. But you will always remain in my thoughts ,my heart and in my head (AREN'T YOUR THOUGHTS NORMALLY IN YOUR HEAD?  GEEZ THE REDUNDANCY) ,a lovely Debbi. What is the most important thing you’ve learned from a past relationship?  (THAT IDIOTS LIKE YOU ARE MORE COMMON THAN NOT...THANKS FOR SHARING MY EMAIL ADDRESS FOLKS)

I tossed him some crumbs about what I've learned from past relationships.  Nothing exciting enough to post.  I did send two pictures of horses for "Amanda".

His response:

Aww pretty as you said. They are growing better i see (WHAT IS GROWING BETTER?  MY FAKE HORSES)  and this is just for Amanda's eyes,lol. She surely will love them both and surely will ask me someday to get her a young horse (GET A UNICORN, ITS AS MYTICAL AS SHE IS). Thank you for not being just some one close at heart but also a friend of my daughter this much. I have always waited for a day like this,(YOU SENSE SUCKER ON MY FOREHEAD...TRUST ME I'M NOT)  a woman who has great love for kids and would do anything just to make her happy. Yes you re right, books are not judge by its cover. (NO, I SAID YOU SHOULD NOT JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER...DON'T GET EUPHEMISMS) 

I have learnt (LEARNED, ED, NOT T) that you have to accept people for who they are and you can't change them. If you find out some behavior is bothering you..You need be honest and let them know that their behavior is bothering you. I live by the golden rule. I treat people the way I would like them to treat me (HOW DOES ONE TREAT A SCAM ARTIST?). If they don't treat me well I say to myself that is their issue not mine.I am not going change who I am because someone didn't treat me fairly. I will never blame other people for something that someone else did to me.. One of the most important thing I have understand about life is to Learn from your mistakes and move on (OR WHEN THE GAME ISN'T GOING YOUR WAY, YOU MOVE TO THE NEXT VICTIM),i've learned to take time to think and not just react. never take for granted the next day..be happy...love God..love each one that comes to your life..and hope that tomorrow you will have the opportunity to be happy.. and healthy. Good night sweetheart, meet you between the stars  (OK, I HAVE TO SAY I DO LIKE THAT LINE IN ALL IT'S CHEESETASTIC GLORY...MEET YOU BETWEEN THE STARS)

So we have the 5th of July festivities for my family.  I laid out the "I'm sad that I haven't heard from you"  not really but hey it helps the tone of the whole scheming plot.

Hi Sweetheart ,

Am so sorry for not being here to reply you this late i must confess. I thought of how busy you would be today Sunday mostly after church hours. I feel this is why we need to have each other close contacts (YES SO I CAN BE ACCESSIBLE TO YOU 24/7). You have never left my heart for a second Debbi ,not my memory for an hour (UGH UGH UGH BLECH). Yes me and Amanda is fine (ME AND AMANDA IS FINE...ILLITERATE MUCH) and we had a great Saturday hour i must day (JUST AN HOUR YOU MUST DAY?).Yes i understand everything and is not really bad for Amanda to have a horse ,a great challenge i must say. I do miss you so miss Debbi (AND STILL, EVERY EMAIL FROM DEBBIE AND YOU HAVEN'T FIGURED OUT TO PUT THE E AT THE END) ,i just didnt want to disturb you and the kid hours. Thank you for your message,i do appreciate . Tell me, how's your day today?

My regards Sweetheart

More tomorrow as the saga continues...almost finished emails, because i have created a dummy skype account just for his special ramblings....oh I'm a lucky girl

You Look Really Sparking and Beautiful - Thomas Green Part 7

I'm awful.  I am lying through my eye teeth.  I tell the poor schmuck:

I had a wonderful night.  Thank you.  I thought about your smile from the last picture you sent.  I can't get your face out of my mind.  I hope you have a great day.  

I think I threw up a little at my own subterfuge.

His response:

Wow thank you so much . Am so delighted you had a wonderful night. I thought of you too. It will be really nice seeing more pics of you,seeing the better parts (EXACTLY WHAT PARTS ARE YOU REFERENCING) of our communication Debbi. How is everything going today? The weekend is around the corner . What are your weekend plans ? How are the kids ,i mean your little nieces. (OBVIOUSLY YOU DON'T PAY ATTENTION. I SAID I HAVE NIECES AND NEPHEWS) My regards ...

So I sent an old picture that if you do a Google image search, nothing comes up :)  Yes, I'm that good.

His response to the picture:

Wow you look really sparking and beautiful (SPARKING?  IF I WAS A UNICORN I'D SHOOT SPARKLES OUT MY BUTT.  IS THAT SIMILAR?) ,i think you should be proud of your looks and gorgeous smile..Am sorry for the last message ,it was a mistake . Ah thanks for asking after my daughter ,she's fine . I talk more about you to her each day to make her understand your wonderful nature ("SHE" IS 15, WHAT IS THERE TO UNDERSTAND; HOWEVER, SHE IS A MYTHICAL CREATURE LIKE MY UNICORN). I don't have such a huge plans for weekend but i thought of talking to you for weekend (FOOL IT'S 4TH OF JULY HERE AND YOU DON'T EVEN REALIZE IT),i think that should be better. I also have a plan on taking my daughter out to a nice place may be.

Oh how I lie, like a big dog :) but hey I finally have horses :D

Well I won't be around much this weekend.  With all the big celebrations happening, especially on the East Coast, I would have thought you two would go out.  This is such a special time to honor the nation's forefathers and defenders both past and present.

I can't wait to spent the day with family tomorrow.  There will be 23 people in attendance.  I'm the only single one.  But I have some cool gifts for all the kids.  I hope we will get an opportunity to take the horses out for a good ride.

I keep my horses at my parents' ranch.(RANCH STYLE HOME, THAT IS...OOPS FORGOT THOSE OTHER TWO WORDS)  I have two beautiful rides, a quarter horse named Presidio. He's a gelding.  I also have a stunning palomino named Jezebel.  She is a mare. I'll send you some pictures when I'm on my computer so you can show your daughter.

What is her name?

I'll continue tomorrow...by the way, I pilfered some stunning pictures of horses to share with his mythical daughter.  I'm so bad in such a good way!

I Have ... Thought About You All Through The Nights - Thomas Green Part 6

Yes friends, all through the nights.  Apparently the planet upon which Mr. Green resides has multiple nights in a 24 hour cycle.  

He last asked me about my "idea" man.  I actually gave him a bit of truth...well more than a bit of truth.

Oh, I don't know that my idea man exists.  He is kind and caring, he is a good provider for his family.  A man with Christ in his heart.  He is spirited and enjoys going on adventures as much as he enjoys staying at home.  He should have a good relationship with his family.  He needs to have an artist/creative side.  He has to be intelligent.  He should have a nice smile.  He should want to care, love and protect me.  I want him to be generous in all things.  He needs to become my best friends.  He should not be afraid to show affection.

There are so many things but I will stop there, because he does not exist in my life.  Not yet.

Mind you that's simply the tip of the iceberg on what I would like in a man.  He does exist, I just have to find him.

His reply:

Ah your words are so fascinating ,i admire every lines (THAT'S BECAUSE I CAN USE MY BIG WORDS AND YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THEM...NA NA NA NA BOO BOO). Your idea man exist babe,they can't be so perfect in person but as perfect as your other half,(WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY, THAT THE PERFECT MAN CAN ONLY BE PERFECT AS MY OTHER HALF...OH PUHLEEZZZE)  I have lived,believed ,gone through things,seen the other side of the world,encountered with people . But i know when my heart finds rest inside. My idea woman is such as yours,we both share that quality about our partners (IF YOU MEAN SUCKER AS A REPLACEMENT FOR SHARED QUALITY, THEN, YOU MAY INCORRECTLY ASSUME THAT I AM LIKE YOU). I have always been told we only live once (BABY, YOUR INTELLIGENCE IS SOMETHING TO BEHOLD.  THE LAST TIME I CHECKED, WHEN YOU'RE DEAD THAT'S IT..BUT HEY REINCARNATION IS A BELIEF TO SOME FOLKS),but when things re right once is enough,lol. I'm looking for a long and lasting relationship with someone who is very caring, honest, and most of all understanding. A woman who has a smile for me if I am feeling a little down, A woman who has a sense of self, and does not let small imperfections rule their lives, A woman who has a love of kids just like you. Someone that loves to Laugh, Someone that doesn't have a bad temper,(YOU REALLY NEED TO KNOW ME BETTER IN THAT CASE.  I CAN BE A FIERY JALAPENO)  Someone that can sit and hold hands if there comes a disagreement (WHAT HAPPENS IF I PREFER TO STAND AND HOLD HANDS?  IS THAT AN ISSUE FOR YOU, DOES IT CAUSE ANOTHER DISAGREEMENT), A woman that can cuddle all night. Someone who will let me know their feelings.. Someone who loves God more than life, Then loves me right after that, Someone who puts others above themselves (WAIT, DO YOU WANT ME TO LOVE GOD FIRST, YOU SECOND, THEY EVERYONE ELSE) .Someone who can lead me in our spiritual walk (AS SOON AS I PUT A RING THROUGH YOUR NOSE BOYO I CAN LEAD YOU ANYWHERE)  and whom I can also spur on. Now i feel am in a conversation with my idea woman,first time i have ever felt this day.(HMMM, JUST THIS DAY?  I'M CONFUSED BECAUSE YOU SAID ALL THROUGH THE NIGHTS, SHOULD YOU HAVE DAYS AS WELL TO COUNTER THE NIGHTS?) You can see its a heartful.  I enjoy knowing you Debbi.

I gave him a pat answer about not looking for perfection since it's unattainable. Blah blah.  Here is his reply...

Yes they can never be a perfect relationship. Disagreement sometimes brings a closer bond,makes two better and a lot more. Yes i agree with you and am also no looking for a perfect woman cos they can't be such we all strive for perfections. Hope your night was better ? I have had you at heart (IS THAT LIKE "YOU HAD ME AT HELLO", ALA JERRY MCGUIRE?) ,thought about you all through the nights (THERE WE GO AGAIN WITH THE NIGHTS STUFF) and your words you say always (THAT'S BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO FIGURE OUT WHAT I'M SAYING WHEN I USE MY BIG WORDS...I'M SURE GOOGLE TRANSLATE MAY HAVE AN ISSUE WITH THEM). I have everything at heart,i have paused and ponder at your words (SEE SNARKY RESPONSE ABOVE...IT'S LIKE LATHER RINSE REPEAT) and i seem to admire you everyday of my life (SEEM?  FIRST I'M A MAN, THEN I'M A HOBBY AND NOW YOU SEEM TO ADMIRE ME...GOSH I WANT TO RUSH OFF AND GIVE YOU MONEY AT THE FIRST OPPORTUNITY). God be with you today .

Good morning darling  (BLECH...I DON'T MIND SOMEONE I'M INTIMATE WITH CALLING ME DARLING...ALTHOUGH I DO PREFER "DARLIN'" WITH A SLIGHT COUNTRY DRAWL...JUST SAYIN' SUGAH)