A Happiness That Cannot Easily Appear - Thomas Green Part Five

My friends, I left you hanging on, waiting for me to reveal to Mr. Hottie Green the nature of my favorite color.  Behold my response:

I am the best auntie in the world.  Thank you for the apology.  You really feel that way?  That I am filling up empty vacuum in your heart?  I am glad. (THAT WAS SO DIFFICULT TO TYPE WITH A STRAIGHT FACE) For so long I have wanted to make a loving man happy.  I want to please him in all ways, to make sure all his needs are met.  (SCREAMS SUBSERVIENT DOESN'T IT?)

I enjoy the beach, but much prefer the mountains.  It's makes me miss Vancouver when I think about the mountains and the snow.  One of the most beautiful places in Canada is Banff.  The mountains there are simply gorgeous and it is also quite nice in the summer.  Much cooler than in Texas.  While I enjoy nature, I am not much on fishing and camping unless I am "camping" in a 5 Star luxury hotel with all the amenities.

My favorite color? (YES I KNOW Y'ALL HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS...DRUM ROLL PLEASE...)  Because I am an artist at heart and extremely creative, I would have to say my color is very unique.  I love puce.  It is such a deep, dramatic color, rich and bold.  I love it so much I have painted a room in my home that color.  It's very striking.  

So what do you do for entertainment when you are home?

My beloved's response:

Ah i love your confidence ,knowing to yourself as a best auntie in the world, Lol. Yes i mean every word i say hear (MAKE UP YOUR MIND, IS IT THE WORDS YOU SAY OR THE WORDS YOU HEAR?), the words we utter often makes us who we really are (THEREFORE YOU ARE A CONFIRMED LIAR, AS IF WE DIDN'T ALREADY FIGURE THAT OUT WITH YOUR VERY FIRST SENTENCE IN YOUR VERY FIRST EMAIL). There's the glimpse you create in me each time i see your writings,a happiness that cannot easily appear,cannot easily be shown (CANNOT EASILY APPEAR, CANNOT EASILY BE SHOWN...WOW I'M TOUGH) ,a smile worth more than measures you place on my face. it was as if my world stopped and paused not knowing you for those number of years i missed out. (OH HOLD ME, THOSE COMPLEX TURNS OF PHRASING ARE SOOO SEXY) its so lovely of you and so creative with fine art of your heart. Well my favorite color is Blue and Green. I like them because I love nature and most of the things in life consist of them. For example, the Sky is Blue while the Vegetation is Green,lol (GRASS WOULD HAVE BEEN EASIER TO SPELL). Am a passionate song listener,i try to create songs at heart even while i listen, read books,teach my daughter more about nature,life itself and more when am home. I try to live each day as it comes from the Lord. Describe your spirituality? How's your spiritual life?

What I sent him about my spirituality was factual to my faith in God.  Here is his response to my question about his denomination.  Please note how great his English has suddenly become.  I wonder if they have organized email categories from which they can cut and paste?

I’m Baptist. I was born and raised in a christian home, I have accepted Christ as my Savior. I try to live as God would have me to live my life.For me, I go to church every week, its very important to me. I go to church every week to praise the Lord for all what he has done in my life and also making me see a brighter day. I love to pray and sing(I am not that great, but the Lord only hears the beauty)

 I let the Holy Spirit fill me and guide me.. Tell me how was your day at work today ?

Apparently I didn't respond timely so I received this tidbit:

Are you okay ? or maybe busy and tired . Well its some times hectic i understand and its also late after so much work for you babe.(BABE?  OK, WE'VE JUST MOVED INTO TERMS OF ENDEARMENT)  Would you want to take a rest ? So you can wake up better.(NO BABE, I'M BRIGHT EYED AND BUSHY TAILED) I so much want the best for you too. Let me know which ever you indeed doing. (I'M THINKING ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE ACTUALLY) A pic of me,i feel you will love this.

I did shoot him an email asking about his denomination.  His response:

I accepted Christ before my adult age. I have always known a life without Christ is Crisis, lol. So i was raised ,probably in my youth age (WHAT?  RAISED?  LIKE HOISTED BY A BELT LOOP SO YOU HAVE A WEDGIE). I was sprinkled (INTERESTING, ALL THE BAPTISTS I KNOW HAVE BEEN FULLY IMMERSED, HENCE BAPTISM, YOU KNOW, SOMETHING JOHN THE BAPTIST DID...BUT HEY I MAY NOT KNOW THE BIBLE LIKE YOU THOMAS) ,i could remember it was never the same. All around me i felt the change like it was the day my life began. The candles around,the choirs ,choruses, the spirit within God's house.(YOU SURE YOU WEREN'T TRIPPING ON 'SHROOMS?)  I could remember rights i did wrong and more on same day (RIGHTS YOU DID WRONG?). It was one of my greatest moment i must say. It was worth more than any treasure ever had. No am home now ,its been great actually. I never take my eyes off my mail each time now,lol. Please pardon the way i express myself and feelings. If there's something you don't like about me,don't hesitate to tell me.(OH HONEY, WHERE DO I EVEN START?) Am ready to be for anything better you would prefer. Am your sub-ordinate (BOW DOWN BEFORE THE ONE YOU SERVE, YOU'RE GOING TO GET WHAT YOU DESERVE ... I HEART YOU NIN) ,while you remain an Angel in my world.(NOW I HAVE AEROSMITH IN MY HEAD) Tell me about your idea man?  (I'M YOUR IDEA MAN, STOP ME WHEN I'M PASSING BY...OH SORRY, THAT'S ICE CREAM MAN...MY BAD, GUESS YOUR FLAVORS AREN'T GUARANTEED TO SATISFY)

Part six will be tomorrow....Hope your 4th was happy happy!

I Don't Want To Leave The So Good Conversation With You - Thomas Green Part Cuatro

I've skipped a lot of back and forth...he's sent me "his" pictures and here is one his replies:

Ah Good morning to you Debbi ! I hope you had a better night rest? I'm so sorry i misread your last mail.(MAYBE IF YOU ACTUALLY UNDERSTOOD ENGLISH YOU WOULDN'T MISUNDERSTAND) You know all works and no play always makes jack a dull boy ,lol. I smile at every words i read from you,every time it feels like i don't want to leave the so good conversation with you.(AWW, THAT'S SO GOOD TO KNOW) Thank you for your nice and warm gesture but i think you might be a blessing from above .I'm happy you are in my life now,you have brought me joy and an expectation of something good well we came into each others lives everything is as it should be and happens for a reason.(SOMEHOW AN EXCHANGE OF EMAILS MEANS I'M IN YOUR LIFE? ) You should be happy life is our journey and we are meant to enjoy our journey smell the roses turn our faces to the sun and you as a man will be happy joys free (EXCUSE ME???  SOMEWHERE BETWEEN EMAIL 1 AND EMAIL 5 I GREW A PENIS)  and at peace you have much to give. I really want to live knowing you all my life,each passing day you seem more like a hobby (HOBBY??? DEAR GOOGLE TRANSLATE, PLEASE HELP HIM). A new version of a story line,a better beginning. Tell me what re the things you do for fun ?

My regards

My reply to shake things up a bit..

Hello.
 
I did have a good night's rest.  I'm glad you're enjoying the conversation, I am as well.  I wouldn't say that I am a blessing.  Just a normal person.  But yes, perhaps there can be an expectation of something good coming out of this chance meeting.  You are right, everything happens for a reason.
 
What do I do for fun? Well I spend a lot of time with my family.  I have 1 older and 3 younger siblings and they all have kids, so we love to gather as much as we can.  I have 12 nephews and nieces.  I enjoy spending as much time with them as I can.  I tend to spoil them all since I have no kids of my own.  I will be taking the 3 oldest with me on a Caribbean cruise in a few months.  I'm so happy they don't mind hanging out with their auntie.  (DO I IMPRESS YOU WITH ALL THE MONEY I AM PRETENDING TO HAVE?  WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO ASK ME TO SEND YOU SOME?

i am a bit confused by your email.  Why would you liken me to a hobby?  That's a very upsetting comment.  In fact, you say "you as a man will be happy joys free"  that just doesn't make much sense to me.

Are you playing some game with me?

WHO WANTS TO BET THE REPLY HAS A THOUSAND APOLOGIES???  :)

Ah that sounds interesting ,you really must be a good auntie. I'm sorry but you misunderstood me Debbi (EXCUSE ME, BUT I READ WHAT YOU WROTE...I AM A MAN AND A HOBBY) . I have never felt this for such a long time ,its as if a wound is getting healed in my heart knowing you now .I'm so sorry if that upset you but i never meant to upset you, i just want to be happy with you all my life (WELL WHICH ONE IS IT?  YOU'VE NEVER FELT THIS OR YOU HAVEN'T FELT THIS IN A LONG TIME...WOOHOO I'M LIKE A MEDICAL MIRACLE, HEALING HEARTS WORLD WIDE, OR IN A CALL CENTER SOMEWHERE IN AFRICA). It was as if you occupied an empty vacuum in my heart when i met you and i feel so glad in all.(IF I OCCUPIED AN EMPTY VACUUM, DOES THAT MEAN I'M DUST AND DIRT?  KEEP THE UNKNOWN INSULTS COMING) Please i apologize for your being upset...

Things i do for fun? I love nature a great deal, love watching the peacefulness of the ocean , love summer weather, I enjoy fishing and camping. I also enjoy going to the beach with loved ones.. What your favorite color ?

My regards

My favorite color?  I'm sure he had to look it up in the dictionary...to be continued :)

I Feel You Are Nice With Your Words of Expression - Thomas Green Part Trois

..but not as in menage a ...

If you have read my last post, I left you with his response.  Here is my reply to his email.  

Aren't we all imperfect?  How long have you been widowed?  How old is your daughter?  It must be so difficult to grow up without her mom and I'm sure it is such a challenge for you being both mother and father to her.  As a petroleum engineer, I am sure you travel quite a bit.  I'm sure that's difficult for her, you being gone so much.  That makes me sad. (BOOM, SHE PLAYS THE SYMPATHY CARD...THANK YOU THAT JACKPOT BELONGS TO ME!!!)

It's funny, I had always wanted to be a mom.  It's in my nature because I am a warm loving woman, but it was not God's plan for me.  I have since started praying for God to send me a wonderful man who has children so I could become a loving step-mother to his precious kids. (HERE IS A KERNEL OF TRUTH AMONG THE LIES)

I too love great conversation; however, sometimes you have to agree to disagree.  But I understand what you are saying about the difference between debate and an argument.  No one likes to be hurt and certainly it isn't kind to hurt your loved one.

I do have a mobile number but I'm not ready to give it out.  I don't know you.  So I would like to keep this to email for a while, until we know each other a bit more.

Warm regards,

Debbie

His reply, mind you, his first email to me was May 30th.  We are now July 1st:

Yes we are imperfect,though we all strive for perfections (WHAT'S WRONG WITH MEDIOCRITY?  SOMETIMES PERFECTION IS TOO HARD TO HANDLE). I have been all alone for about 5yrs now and my daughter is 15.I think is a great gift meeting and knowing people in this life. I love travelling and have been to some other countries and places. I love to spend more time in family though i work offshore but i'm always there when you look,when you search and find.(SO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS THAT YOU'RE SOMEWHAT LIKE WALDO?  HE'S ALWAYS THERE WHEN YOU SEARCH AND FIND HIM) Sometimes its hard doing it alone i must say. Being a single parent haven't been to easy with me but i guess i accept each day as it comes from God if its part of my destiny routine ,smile. I feel you are nice with your words of expression (BECAUSE PEOPLE NEVER USE THEIR WORDS TO LIE, DO THEY?). You are kind but you have your path  and purpose in life to fulfill that is why we are here someone special can only Complete our circle. I feel there's always a great joy meeting people and i never regret a minute cos we happened to come together. Your wishes and desires are same with mine as well. To find a woman to love (I'M SORRY, I HAVE NO DESIRE TO FIND A WOMAN TO LOVE...I LURVE ME SOME MAN...IN FACT, I'M REALLY LIKING MY DARK HAIRED, DARK EYED, HANDSOMELY INTELLIGENT LATINO), some one my daughter can call not only a mother but a friend (FRIENDMOTHER, LIKE SISTERWIFE BUT NOT), I think she will be nicer growing up learning more from you and your ways. You might not see this from my own angle but i believe we both have a future in tomorrow Debbi.(GIVEN THAT TOMORROW IS THE FUTURE, I WOULD LIKE TO THINK THAT YES, I WILL HAVE A FUTURE IN IT.  I'M NOT READY TO MEET JESUS AT THE MOMENNT) We just didn't get to know people over night i believe,it takes time,a given period of time .If the chemistry is there. I so feel a great chemistry with you,is as if i found a life all again if i will say.(I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING...HON, IT'S BEEN 2 DAYS, SO I GUESS TECHNICALLY IT'S NOT OVER NIGHT) Mailing is indeed a nice step to take but i think life's too short complicating things. Am an affectionate man,emotional in person and would want to desire and treasure every moment with you Debbi (YES MY DARLING, TREASURE EVERY MOMENT WITH ME, BECAUSE I WILL BE BUSTING YOUR BALLS AT SOME POINT). I feel it will be nicer and better if you have had an instant yahoo messenger ,or even on skype . This can ease our talks and we can both have chatting time to get along more better than this.(HERE WE GO AGAIN WITH MORE BETTER) I want someone next to me,some one to grow old together with, someone to call my own,travel together with all adventures in it.(MY GUESS IS THAT YOU HAVE A GUY IN A CALL CENTER SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO YOU, THAT'S SOMEONE) I will also love having some pics of you .

I hope you see reasons with me. thanks (MMMM, THAT'S SO SEXY...I HOPE YOU SEE REASONS WITH ME...AND SUDDENLY THE STONES' UNDER MY THUMB STARTED PLAYING IN MY HEAD)

I leave you dear readers with my reply:

Oh dear, for her to have no one since she was 10?  I'm so sorry for both of you.  That simply breaks my heart. (NOT)

I have been so many places in my life.  I have been travelling internationally since I was 8 months old, so as a baby :)  I've most recently spent some time in India, specifically Mumbai.  I have a great many friends there due to the nature of my former employment.  I supervised staff there who performed some of our accounting functions.  I so love the country and the culture.  So much color.  I have the desire to be there for Diwali.  I have only seen pictures and it is simply stunning.  (TRUTH)

You are right, getting to know people does take time and while chemistry is important, so is honor, trust, and respect.  I have to be honest, I cannot say that I am feeling chemistry with you yet (NEVER HAVE, NEVER WILL), but I do know that I like what I am reading about you.(BAHAHAHAHAHAHA)  You sound like the type of man that I could become very interested in getting to know better. (SURE IF I WAS TOTALLY DESPERATE AND YOU WERE THE LAST MAN ON EARTH...NO, NO WAIT, I FIND A COCONUT PALM MORE INTERESTING THAN YOU)

I agree that life is very short; however, I am just not truly ready to leave email.  We've only just begun corresponding and I would like to know more about you through this format.  I promise you that we can move to yahoo messenger in time.  I hope you understand.

Hope You Are Having A Warm Evening - Thomas Green, Part Deux

His reply to my "where are you from..."

Hi Debbi , (IT'S DEBBIE WITH AN E YOU DUMMY)

  Good day to you and a happy new month. I hope you had better night ? Ah am sorry for replying your message now but am just seeing it. Am from Newark, New Jersey. Tell me more about you, what do you do for a living ? where are you from? How's your day like today ? 

Hoping to hear from you soon..

Here is where the fun begins...the fact that I can lie with a straight face to this idiot should be vaguely disturbing; however, since I am dealing with an idiot, I think I'm safe.  

Hi Tom,

I had a great night.  It's okay about replying late.   I am sure you are very busy with work and what not.(I AM SO DARN EMPATHETIC)  Newark?  I have some friends in Trenton, is that close?  (I DON'T HAVE FRIENDS IN NEW JERSEY)

What would you like to know about me?  I'm divorced, with no kids.  I love to travel internationally and do so quite often.  I am a director of accounts receivable so I manage a staff of 3 managers who have a staff of 10 each reporting to them.  (LIES, LIES, LIES, YEAH! TAKE THAT SUCKER)

I am originally from Vancouver, Canada, but while I was married, we moved to Texas and I have been here ever since.  I am hoping to go back to Canada to live some day, probably when I retire.  But who really knows.  I love Hawaii and have a beach home on Kauai, I just can't live there full time because I enjoy the cold weather.  (YOU ARE GOING TO EVENTUALLY ASK ME FOR MONEY, SO I MIGHT AS WELL MAKE SURE THAT YOU THINK I HAVE IT...ANYONE WANT TO GO STAY IN MY BEACH HOUSE WITH ME?)

So what do you do?  Tell me a little about yourself:

His reply, email #3 from him I believe

Wow you amazed me (I HAVE THAT AFFECT ON MANY PEOPLE) and i must confess that was a perfect introduction.I really love the way you write and put words together (REALLY?  I'M SURE YOU DO.  IT SHOULD GIVE YOU A HELP WITH THE NEXT PERSON YOU ATTEMPT TO CON). Well yes i'm busy with things and a lot more . Hmmm what to say about myself? I'm an average man ,imperfect i must say,who believes in the lord almighty. I have a teenage daughter who means a lot more to me. I'm a widower and have been alone for some time now with no one next to me.  I'm working as a petroleum Engineer. (DANGER PHRASES HAVE BEEN UNDERLINED.  THERE MUST BE A TEMPLATE BECAUSE IT'S ALWAYS THE SAME) I would like to find someone to enjoy some of my free time with. Someone serious for a change to talk to and be best of friends with for starters,I cherish friendship and considered it a great gift or favor from God. And see where the road leads us. I love quality conversation and a great debate.. I know the difference between a debate and an argument. I'm a lover, not a fighter Cos i hate to be hurt and when my soul mate is hurt, then I'm also hurt,lol. (VOMITING IN MY MOUTH AGAIN) I guess that was a heartful words.(WHAT, HE'S COMPLIMENTING HIS OWN WORDS OR THOSE STOLEN FROM SOMEONE ELSE) Do you have a mobile number ? Or maybe instant messenger ? So we can chat better. I'm really keen on knowing you better Debbi (SPELL MY NAME RIGHT, AND YOU STILL WON'T HAVE A CHANCE) Hope you having a warm evening? (NO DANG IT, I HAVE AC, IT MAKES THE SUMMERS PALATABLE IN TEXAS)

There will be more posts...stay tuned :)

The Saga of Thomas Green

Here we go again.  I'm really going to try to work this one a bit longer.  I have NO IDEA who this one is or how he/she/it got my hotmail address.  My guess is that he is a prior scammer trying a new tactic. 

Here is email #1:

Hi  

It gladdens my heart to write you today from a piece of words in my heart.(WHAT??? YOU KNOW, THE ABILITY TO RUN A SUCCESSFUL CON SHOULD BE PREDICATED ON YOUR ABILITY TO WRITE ENGLISH,)  Am really thankful for the email and your understanding. Am Thomas,let me tell you a little about myself. (AM?? SAM I AM.  I AM A YAM.  MA'AM I AM, AM AM AM.  I AM A HAM SORRY I DIGRESS)

Am just an average man who believes in the Lord almighty ,down to earth with a great sense of humor.I love every part of nature and i believe in meeting new people in life. (WHY DO THEY ALWAYS LOVER EVERY PART OF NATURE?  I DON'T, ESPECIALLY THE POOPING PART OF NATURE, AND THE STEPPING IN DOG POOP PART.  DON'T LOVE THOSE PARTS) People with like minds evidently grow towards better relationship. How long have you been on Christian mingles? I will like to know more about you,exchange pics and see what nature upholds for us all. (WHAT NATURE UPHOLDS FOR US ALL?, GOOGLE WHAT DID HE TRANSLATE)

Hoping to hear from you soon,i hope you having a warm evening ?. (NO I HAVE AIR CONDITIONING, IT'S RATHER PLEASANT)

Thomas Green

My reply:

Hello,

I'm not sure who you are, sorry.  I don't recall giving you my email address as I given it out to very few people.  What is your profile name?

His email #2:

Ah i'm so sorry it look so strange to you (WHAT LOOKS STRANGE?  THAT'S ALMOST AS GOOD AS A SURPRISE TO MY NOTICE). I took out my account cos i had too many messages from people who never was serious. I felt comfortable and relaxed after getting your email (NEVER SENT YOU AN EMAIL, SO SERIOUSLY HOW DID YOU GET MY ADDY). I felt we could at least start from some where.(I SUPPOSE SOMEWHERE IS BETTER THAN NOWHERE, BUT ANYWHERE DOES HAVE POTENTIAL...DO YOU THINK HE WOULD BE CONFUSED IF I SAID THAT?) Here are photos of me. Please feel free to write me at anytime . I hope you re having a nice evening?

My reply:

I forgot to ask where you are from...